Wedding Gift Etiquette: The Dos and Don’ts of Asking for Gifts
You have probably always been taught that it is not good manners to ask for gifts and in most cases that is true. However, when it comes to special occasions like weddings, it has become quite acceptable to ask for gifts. In fact, that is one of the reasons why bridal, or wedding, registries have become so commonplace. These are typically sponsored by a store or perhaps an online wedding site where you can list items you need or want when starting a new life together. There are so many things a newlywed couple generally needs that it really is okay to tell friends and family of those things. With that said, it’s not that you ask but rather the etiquette involved in ‘how’ you ask.
The Proper Way to Ask for Very Specific Items
Let’s illustrate something you’d ask for that falls within a certain religious or cultural setting. For example, as a Catholic couple getting married in a church with an ordained priest officiating, you hold your faith very seriously. Perhaps you would like a unity candle to be lit at your wedding ceremony or a bas-relief image of the holy family to hang in your home. These would be gifts that few people might think of when choosing a gift for you so in this case, it would be perfectly acceptable to link them to an online religious goods store where they could find what you are looking for under their Catholic Wedding Gift Ideas section. There is nothing wrong with being specific if the want is religious or cultural.
When Asking for a Gift of Money
You will often read that you should make note of this in the wedding invitations you send out. Unfortunately, according to Emily Post, that is definitely a no-no. In fact, she believes that it is in poor taste to ask for any kind of gift in the invitation. It’s like hinting don’t come if you can’t bring a gift. Although it isn’t said, it may be perceived that way. Other ways to ask for money would be to set up a wedding gift registry on a wedding site with money on the list. As long as you aren’t on a store site where the only gifts possible are items for sale at their location, you should be ok. The best way to get word out on where to find your registry is through email, text messages or posts on social media. Again, try to avoid asking for gifts on your invitations. It really is in poor taste to do so.
Some Wedding Planners Offer This Service
While it isn’t altogether common for wedding planners to also keep track of your wedding gift registry, you might find one amenable to taking on the task. They may not want to actually handle the gift registry, but they could be your liaison for guests to contact when looking for where your list of wants and needs is located. Actually, you just may find a wedding planner willing to take on the task because they could tick off items on the list as they are purchased, leaving only those outstanding to suggest when someone asks.
The point is, when it comes to weddings, it really is acceptable to ask for specific gifts so that you don’t get a dozen of the same thing. It’s all in how you handle it that matters most. It’s how you ask, not that you ask. Remember that and all should be well.
